
The value of honour
Exodus 20:12 (NKJV) “Honor (כָּבוֹד ḵâḇôḏ) your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the LORD your God is giving you.
The meaning of the word translated honour is the Hebrew word ḵâḇoḏ/kabed which means to be heavy, to make weighty, to value. It also carries with it the meaning of abounding. So to honour someone is actually to recognise a person who is weighty in value, influential, worthy of respect. To honour is to place weight or value on a person and that relationship. Attached to the word ḵâḇôḏ is also the meaning of abounding. An environment of honour will cause a person and the relationship with that person to flourish and abound.
The word ḵâḇôḏ is also used in a negative sense in the Old Testament. When used in a negative context ḵâḇôḏ means burdensome, severe, or to be heavy.
To (dis)honour is to be burdensome, to treat severely and to create an atmosphere of heaviness. Remember the prefixdis is the latin for “apart or having a negative or reversing force”. Dishonour means to treat the person apart from honour. It is to set aside the value or worth of that person and the relationship you have with that person. (Dis)honour also has the effect of reversing the environment of honour which produces abundance in a person and the relationship with that person.
Keep these definitions in mind and let’s look at the first mention of the word ḵâḇôḏ in the Bible.
Genesis 13:1-4 (NLT) So Abram left Egypt and traveled north into the Negev, along with his wife and Lot and all that they owned. (Abram was very rich (ḵâḇôḏ) in livestock, silver, and gold.) From the Negev, they continued traveling by stages toward Bethel, and they pitched their tents between Bethel and Ai, where they had camped before. This was the same place where Abram had built the altar, and there he worshiped the LORD again.
Abraham had just come back to Canaan from Egypt where he nearly lost his wife and feared for his life. God spared the both of them by Divine intervention.
The word rich there is the word ḵâḇôḏ. Don’t miss what the passage is trying to teach us here. The word ḵâḇôḏ is in the midst of an act Abraham was doing to show how much he valued his relationship with God. Abraham knew why he was living in abundance. It was his relationship with God that produced the environment to flourish in abundance. How do we know that? The first thing he does after leaving Egypt was to make his way back to the place he first built an altar to God and he worshiped the Lord again. It shows us how much “weight” or value he placed on his relationship with God rather than the riches he had accumulated. True prosperity is found in a relationship that places weight and value in a relationship with God. Wherever God is honoured, people flourish in their lives.
That was the first use of ḵâḇôḏ in the Bible. Let’s look at the use of ḵâḇôḏ in the context of weightiness and oppression. For this we turn to the life of Pharoah.
Exodus 5:6-9 (NLT) That same day Pharaoh sent this order to the Egyptian slave drivers and the Israelite foremen: “Do not supply any more straw for making bricks. Make the people get it themselves! But still require them to make the same number of bricks as before. Don’t reduce the quota. They are lazy. That’s why they are crying out, ‘Let us go and offer sacrifices to our God.’ Load (ḵâḇôḏ) them down with more work. Make them sweat! That will teach them to listen to lies!”
When Moses, under the command of God, confronted Pharoah and challenged him to let God’s people go, Pharoah’s reaction to Moses’ challenge was to burden the people further. Note the phrase “load (ḵâḇôḏ) them down” . Here we see the word ḵâḇôḏ used in the negative sense. “Load (ḵâḇôḏ) them down with more work. Make them sweat! That will teach them to listen to lies!”
He called the will of God and the voice of God lies. When we (dis)honour God, we tend to (dis)honour other relationships as well. Pharaoh placed no “weight” or value on a relationship Nneither did he place any value on the people of Israel. The result of such a relationship absent of honour is heavy, burdensome and oppressive.
In the end, the legacy Pharaoh was building on the backs of others crumbled and history tells us his final destiny. (Dis)honour, a life apart from honour can never flourish. It will destroy you and everything you build.
Now let’s get back to our original text – Exodus 20:12
Exodus 20:12 (NKJV) “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the LORD your God is giving you.
The text is one of ten “utterances” or what we call the Ten Commandments. They were the most significant words conveyed to the people of God. They were an invitation to God’s people to live and relate to God and each other according to how God values others. The Ten Commandments is structured in a way where the command to honour parents were placed between 4 commandments that were to do with people’s relationship with God and 5 commandments that came after that which was to do with their relationship with others.
Before this commandment to honour father and mother are 4 commandments which are directed towards God. They relate to a person’s relationship with God:
1. Exodus 20:3 (NLT) You must not have any other god but me. – God’s position
2. Exodus 20:4 (NLT) You must not make for yourself an idol of any kind or an image – God’s image
3. Exodus 20:7 (NLT) You must not misuse the name of the LORD your God – God’s name
4. Exodus 20:8 (NLT) Remember to observe the Sabbath day by keeping it holy – God’s day
After the command to honour your father and mother are 5 commandments that are towards others – they relate to a person’s relationship with others:
6. You must not murder.
7. You must not commit adultery.
8. You must not steal.
9. You must not testify falsely against your neighbour.
10. You must not covet
In between the commandments that will flourish your relationship with God and your relationship with others is this command to honour your father and mother. It seems obvious to me that this is the bridge between our relationship with God and others. We learn to do relationship with God and with others in our family environment.
How does one learn to honour God? You learn it in the relationship between parents and children. If we learn to cultivate a culture of honour in our relationship as parents and children, chances are we will be relating to God within a culture of honour.
How does one learn to honour relationships with others? You first learn it through a relationship with parents or children. When individuals learn to live in an environment of honour at home, chances are they continue that lifestyle in their relationship with others.
In other words, if you want to know whether you are honouring God and others – a good gauge will be whether there is a culture of honour in your home between parents and children.
Another thing I want you to notice from this text – there’s a promise that comes with honouring your father and your mother – “your days may be long upon the land which the LORD your God is giving you”. This is not just about longevity of life. It is more than that. It is about flourishing and abounding in your life. It’s about living in “the land which the LORD your God is giving you”. What was the land God was giving them?
He promised them this right from the beginning –
Exo 3:17 (NLT) I have promised to rescue you from your oppression in Egypt. I will lead you to a land flowing with milk and honey
What land? Land “flowing (zûḇ) with milk and honey. The Hebrew word for flowing (zûḇ) literally means – gushing, flowing in abundance. Gushing milk implies abundant cattle. Gushing honey says that not only will the land have an abundance of honey made by bees but also honey out of dates – so abundance of fruit. So you see the link between – honour and abundance. Remember one of the meanings of honour is abounding. An environment of honour will cause a person to flourish and abound.
So drawing from this text we can see the value of creating an environment of honour. To honour someone is to recognise a person’s value and that they are worthy of respect. To honour is to place weight or value on a person and that relationship. An environment of honour will cause the persons and their relationships to flourish and abound.
On the other hand, the absence of honour causes a relationship to become burdensome. It is severe, heavy and oppressive. It becomes a heavy yoke. To (dis)honour is to set aside the value or worth of that person and the relationship. (Dis)honour has the reverse effect of honour where a person in such relationship does not experience abundance.